how to talk to girls

1. girls have 'nuances', and are usually deaf. Be prepared to make minor allowances like everybody else does.

2. Develop a unique sign language.

3. "if i said i had week and feeble spermatozoa, how would this affect our likelihood of conception?" - beware of introducing philosophical concepts until the feeling takes hold.

3.a See someone once, then see them again? This has a technical name - its not actually the same person. On a personal note - you're 'in like flin'

3.b Have you ever noticed how sometimes someone brushes against you? Casually mention ringworm. This is called flirting.

4. Girls are interested in everything, including Computer Programming. In computer programming there is such a thing as a 'pointer'. Pointers may be assigned to point towards something. Up to that moment they are known as 'null pointers'. Make a joke about them not being any kind of breed of greyhound and laugh at a shoe. This makes everything better.